Every time I sleep with the girls I wake up thanking the Lord that I don't have kids and that I get to have a decent night's sleep almost every night. I didn't sleep well at all and the girls kept waking up crying because they would forget where they were or they couldn't see me even though there was a night light on.
What little sleep I did have was riddled with several interesting dreams that all said about the same thing... Find Your Voice! As I lay in bed at 5 this morning those dreams kept replaying in my head. I need to start standing up for myself and I need to stop allowing people to make my decisions for me. I need to stop making decisions based on what I think other people would want me to do and I need to start standing up for myself and what I believe in. If I step on toes or do things that others do not approve of I need to be okay with that. This is my life and I need to live it the way *I* want to live it!
It's funny how things work out sometimes. On Thursday morning I woke up and thought how much fun it would be to have a camp out with my nieces. I went up to SLC and was talking to my mom about it and she informed me that they were sleeping over Saturday night. Perfect!
The girls came over a lot earlier than I had anticipated but that was okay because they got to help me make peach rolls.
After lunch we went up to Silver Lake and they got their first mountain experience. At least Aaliyah says its the first time she has been in the mountains. Silver Lake was packed with people and yet we still managed to see ducks, fish, squirrels and even a deer.
I was hoping the girls would take naps after we got home but that didn't happen. They were way to excited to set the tent up and roast hot dogs.
You should have seen the dirty messy faces we had once we were done with the cookout. After baths the girls were eager to get back into the tent. As a side note I knew the odds of the girls actually sleeping in the tent all night were slim to none so we decided to set up camp in my mom's backyard so that we could go inside once the girls started freaking out.
We didn't even last 15 minutes in the tent before a motorcycle and an airplane went by at the same time and it freaked Daija out. She started crying and fighting to get out of the tent and as soon as I let her into the house she went racing into the computer room where my mom was at screaming that it was too scary. We couldn't get her back out. Britt and Court were going to sleep in the tent with us and Aaliyah said she would go out to the tent after they fell asleep. Needless to say she didn't go back out to the tent and I'm going to be sleeping with both girls in the guest bed. Guess Britt and Court get the tent all to themselves tonight.
The girls came over a lot earlier than I had anticipated but that was okay because they got to help me make peach rolls.
After lunch we went up to Silver Lake and they got their first mountain experience. At least Aaliyah says its the first time she has been in the mountains. Silver Lake was packed with people and yet we still managed to see ducks, fish, squirrels and even a deer.
I was hoping the girls would take naps after we got home but that didn't happen. They were way to excited to set the tent up and roast hot dogs.
You should have seen the dirty messy faces we had once we were done with the cookout. After baths the girls were eager to get back into the tent. As a side note I knew the odds of the girls actually sleeping in the tent all night were slim to none so we decided to set up camp in my mom's backyard so that we could go inside once the girls started freaking out.
We didn't even last 15 minutes in the tent before a motorcycle and an airplane went by at the same time and it freaked Daija out. She started crying and fighting to get out of the tent and as soon as I let her into the house she went racing into the computer room where my mom was at screaming that it was too scary. We couldn't get her back out. Britt and Court were going to sleep in the tent with us and Aaliyah said she would go out to the tent after they fell asleep. Needless to say she didn't go back out to the tent and I'm going to be sleeping with both girls in the guest bed. Guess Britt and Court get the tent all to themselves tonight.
I'm feeling good this morning. I am cleaning out my phone and have a bunch of saved texts of quotes that were sent to me. I'll just type them up here so I have them and then I can delete the texts.
"Heavenly Father didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, or sun without rain.However, he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way. We can't truly know and appreciate the most beautiful things this life has to offer if we do not know the opposite, but he wont ever leave us on our own. Even when we are standing alone, we aren't really- we always have the Lord by our side."
"Always remain true to oneself and do not be defined by others or conform to their standards or thoughts of whom you are or whom you shall be. Love the greatness in YOU that are marvelous Father in Heaven designed you to be! He created everyone uniquely and with a purpose to fulfill in this life. You are a beautiful piece of the ultimate puzzle he's created. He needs you . He Loves you. No doubt about it."
"We only BECOME if we DO. The Lord requires our all and very best; as our Savior did for us. By giving our best it brings forth the blessings of Heaven. It is not easy because salvation is not cheap, there is a price to pay: Obedience is the price, Faith is the power, Love is the motive, the Spirit is the key, and Christ is the reason."
"Heavenly Father didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, or sun without rain.However, he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way. We can't truly know and appreciate the most beautiful things this life has to offer if we do not know the opposite, but he wont ever leave us on our own. Even when we are standing alone, we aren't really- we always have the Lord by our side."
"Always remain true to oneself and do not be defined by others or conform to their standards or thoughts of whom you are or whom you shall be. Love the greatness in YOU that are marvelous Father in Heaven designed you to be! He created everyone uniquely and with a purpose to fulfill in this life. You are a beautiful piece of the ultimate puzzle he's created. He needs you . He Loves you. No doubt about it."
"We only BECOME if we DO. The Lord requires our all and very best; as our Savior did for us. By giving our best it brings forth the blessings of Heaven. It is not easy because salvation is not cheap, there is a price to pay: Obedience is the price, Faith is the power, Love is the motive, the Spirit is the key, and Christ is the reason."
This morning was one of the worst mornings I have ever have. Everything that has been going on and that I have been trying to push to the side just kind of came to a head and I became extremely depressed, angry and hopeless. Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like your life is a waste and that you are just taking up space/air? Well that was the type of day I was having. One of those lay in bed crying type of days where you just want to die. Except I knew I couldn't die because I didn't have enough money in the bank to pay for my funeral. (Yes, even in an extreme depressed state of mind I try not to be a burden on others LOL.)
Anyway, long story short Geri noticed I was in bad shape and made be get zoned, even though I was adamant that I didn't need it. By the time she was done with my first foot I had completely calmed down and didn't feel so angry and depressed. By the time she had finished I had come to peace with everything and my mood drastically changed for the better. Man I love getting zoned and I love that I have the ability to zone others and help them through their trials and times of need.
Anyway, long story short Geri noticed I was in bad shape and made be get zoned, even though I was adamant that I didn't need it. By the time she was done with my first foot I had completely calmed down and didn't feel so angry and depressed. By the time she had finished I had come to peace with everything and my mood drastically changed for the better. Man I love getting zoned and I love that I have the ability to zone others and help them through their trials and times of need.
As I was singing the Sacrament hymn today I realized that he isn't coming back. He is too stubborn and once he has made up his mind he is set in stone. I've seen him do it tons of times but never thought I would be the brunt of his stubbornness. So I guess I am officially admitting that there is no hope in us getting back together and I am single. Blah!
I love living in Orem, where else can I get $80 worth of peaches for free! Let the canning begin. I am also going to attempt to make peach rolls. I will let ya'll know how they turn out.
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