So I'm a firm believer that God answers prayers. I, like most people, can give you a long list of prayers God has answered for me. This time however, I think I should have been a little more specific in what I wanted; then again, God knows what I need and hopefully I will figure it out as well.
This year I've been trying to work on myself and get myself where I feel I need to be in life. After many talks with others and with myself I've come to the conclusion that I'm a control freak. I know a lot of you reading this are chuckling to yourself because you have known this for years. I have to control every aspect of my life and I plan everything out and look at the pros and cons to every situation. So at the end of April, when I asked Heavenly Father to help me rely on Him more and to put my trust in Him and not in myself I had no idea what I was getting myself into. What better way to teach me a lesson about letting go then to turn my whole world upside down.
At the beginning of this month I was supposed to move to Murray with my grandma to help her out. She is getting old and slightly forgetful and needed some help around the house and what not. So I quit my job, packed my bags, and moved in with her. The day I finished moving in she informed me that she had changed her mind and that she wanted to continue living on her own. So I now find myself unemployed, slightly homeless (I'm bouncing around between family members) and having no idea where my life is going or what direction I should be going in. I HATE this feeling! I hate not having a plan or a course of action. I hate feeling like a nomad floating from place to place. But mostly I had the unknown.
I have so many options available to me right now and so many things I could try I just have to choose one but they are all good and I don't know which one to choose. Things haven't happened like I had planned and yet I'm feeling okay about it. I can still do the things I had wanted to do but in a different way. Maybe this needed to happen in order to push me to go after my dreams instead of just slightly working on them while I was doing other things for my grandma.
As a result of my current situation I'm finding myself living with my dad, something I never in a million years would have thought would happen. I'm not going to lie its awkward and slightly uncomfortable for all of us but we are getting through it and who knows maybe this will strengthen our relationship. I know that there is a reason why I am here and I will learn something from this experience.
The next little while is going to be an adventure for sure. We shall see what happens and I will try to keep everyone posted.
As I sit here on my last day of work watching Yosef and his pink sparkly shoes walking away from the table of our Saturday morning matrons I am hit with a sense of sadness. I am going to miss this place. I am going to miss the crazy Nordstrom styles, the fashion faux pas and our special weekly lunch diners. I'm going to miss Movie Monday's, Nerts and laughing so hard my guts are going to burst because of something off the wall that Nichole or Jonny said. I'm going to miss the slew of my future ex husbands that I see almost every day as well as the sea of pregnant women waddling to their various destinations. Yes! I am going to miss this place. Mostly though, I am going to miss my co-workers, my second family. The women (and Casey) who have taught me so much and who have made me a better person for having known them. Working for Ideal Image has been the experience of a lifetime and one that I will not soon forget.
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