Things that make you go hmmm

I decided it was time to dust off my Hans Christian Andersen Fairytale book and the first insert I read totally applies to me.

This Fable Is Intended For You
Wise men of ancient times ingeniously discovered how to tell people the truth without being blunt to their faces. You see, they held a magic mirror before the people, in which all sorts of animals and various wondrous things appeared, producing amusing as well as instructive pictures. They called these fables, and whatever wise or foolish deeds the animals performed, the people were to imagine themselves in their places and thereby think, "This fable is intended for you!" In this way no one's feelings were hurt. Let us give you an example.

There were two high mountains, and at the top of each stood a castle. In the valley below ran a hungry dog, sniffing along the ground as if in search of mice or quail. Suddenly a trumpet sounded from one of the castles, to announce that mealtime was approaching. The dog immediately started running up the mountain, hoping to get his share; but when he was halfway up, the trumpeter ceased blowing, and a trumpet from the other castle commenced. "Up here," thought the dog, "they will have finished eating before I arrive, but over there they are just getting ready to eat." So he ran down, and up the other mountain. But now the first trumpet started again, while the second stopped. The dog ran down again, and up again; and this he continued until both trumpets stopped blowing, and the meals were over in both castles.

Now guess what the wise men of ancient times would have said about this fable, and who the fool could be who runs himself ragged without gaining anything, either here or there?

Right now I feel like I am that dog. I'm have no idea where I am going; I run this way for a bit and then think better of it so I run another way for a bit but then think I want something else or the first thing again. It's very frustrating. I really want to just be able to settle down. I'm tired of living a nomadic life and I've only been doing it for a while. I can't imagine how people can handle doing it for long periods of time.

Just to give you a little idea of my life since May I have lived in Orem, West Jordan,, Tooele, back to Orem, back to West Jordan and now possibly Las Vegas next month. I need to figure out where I want to live and then find at least a part time job until I get more clients.

Summer Lovin

While I was in Estes Park I ran across a magnet with a saying on it that I just couldn't get out of my head.




Now I'm not necessarily a bad girl but I have been busy and I'm also too lazy to blog about all my experiences and what I have been up to. Here's a little list though of some of the things that I have done or have happened this summer.

Moved...A Lot
Bonfires
BBQ's and Parties Galore
Sandboarding
5K
Road Trips
Drama
Dating Drama
More Drama...ok not really that much drama lol
Bum arm
No AC in my car...that's been fun.
and hiking.

I'm sure there is more but that is all I can come up with off the top of my head. :o)

Be Careful What You Pray For...

So I'm a firm believer that God answers prayers. I, like most people, can give you a long list of prayers God has answered for me. This time however, I think I should have been a little more specific in what I wanted; then again, God knows what I need and hopefully I will figure it out as well.

This year I've been trying to work on myself and get myself where I feel I need to be in life. After many talks with others and with myself I've come to the conclusion that I'm a control freak. I know a lot of you reading this are chuckling to yourself because you have known this for years. I have to control every aspect of my life and I plan everything out and look at the pros and cons to every situation. So at the end of April, when I asked Heavenly Father to help me rely on Him more and to put my trust in Him and not in myself I had no idea what I was getting myself into. What better way to teach me a lesson about letting go then to turn my whole world upside down.

At the beginning of this month I was supposed to move to Murray with my grandma to help her out. She is getting old and slightly forgetful and needed some help around the house and what not. So I quit my job, packed my bags, and moved in with her. The day I finished moving in she informed me that she had changed her mind and that she wanted to continue living on her own. So I now find myself unemployed, slightly homeless (I'm bouncing around between family members) and having no idea where my life is going or what direction I should be going in. I HATE this feeling! I hate not having a plan or a course of action. I hate feeling like a nomad floating from place to place. But mostly I had the unknown.

I have so many options available to me right now and so many things I could try I just have to choose one but they are all good and I don't know which one to choose. Things haven't happened like I had planned and yet I'm feeling okay about it. I can still do the things I had wanted to do but in a different way. Maybe this needed to happen in order to push me to go after my dreams instead of just slightly working on them while I was doing other things for my grandma.

As a result of my current situation I'm finding myself living with my dad, something I never in a million years would have thought would happen. I'm not going to lie its awkward and slightly uncomfortable for all of us but we are getting through it and who knows maybe this will strengthen our relationship. I know that there is a reason why I am here and I will learn something from this experience.

The next little while is going to be an adventure for sure. We shall see what happens and I will try to keep everyone posted.

I'm Gonna Miss This Place

As I sit here on my last day of work watching Yosef and his pink sparkly shoes walking away from the table of our Saturday morning matrons I am hit with a sense of sadness. I am going to miss this place. I am going to miss the crazy Nordstrom styles, the fashion faux pas and our special weekly lunch diners. I'm going to miss Movie Monday's, Nerts and laughing so hard my guts are going to burst because of something off the wall that Nichole or Jonny said. I'm going to miss the slew of my future ex husbands that I see almost every day as well as the sea of pregnant women waddling to their various destinations. Yes! I am going to miss this place. Mostly though, I am going to miss my co-workers, my second family. The women (and Casey) who have taught me so much and who have made me a better person for having known them. Working for Ideal Image has been the experience of a lifetime and one that I will not soon forget.

Sugar-free is not the way to be

For quite some time I’ve had a dream of opening up a bakery. Since moving down to Orem and being around people who cannot have sugar I have wanted to come up with sugar-free treats that actually taste good. Boy have I failed big time. Every recipe I have tried has resulted in a FAIL. While there are a few I think I could tweak enough to make them edible for the most part it was time and money wasted. On the bright side I have found lots of combinations not to try again.

One day I am going to create something truly amazing and it is going to make all these failed attempts worth it.

I have also found that my back is not a happy camper when forced to stand in one spot for long durations of time. I’m beginning to think that the bakery idea is not going to work and that makes me very sad.

For the past several years I have wanted to dye my hair red. Everyone told me I was too pale to do it and that I would just look washed out. Then I got significant others and they all stated that they didn’t want me going red and so I stayed my natural hair color. Since I’ve been in a “to hell with men” mood lately and since it’s my life and I am going to do all the things this year that I have always wanted to do…I went red. I LOVE IT!

It took 3 bottles of hair dye and countless hours to get it dyed but I could not be more pleased with it. Thank goodness my mom was a good sport and did all the work on it. She is such a trooper.

Fail Big

Every year for as long as I can remember I have had a theme for the year. This year is no different and my theme is: FAIL BIG! To most people this theme will seem weird and pessimistic. However, I have my reasons behind it and I’m excited that this is the theme that I have chosen for the year.

Growing up I have always felt like I needed to excel at everything I did and that failure was not an option. While for most people that would push them to be the best they can be it had a slightly opposite effect on me. I’ve lived my life only trying things that I was sure I was going to conquer or be good at. I have a list of things I have always wanted to try but have yet to attempt any of them because of that fear of failure.

So this year I am giving myself permission to fail. I am giving myself permission to shoot for the stars and try all the things I have always wanted to try but have been to afraid to. It’s okay for me not to excel at these things because I’ve already told myself its ok to fail. In a weird way it has allowed me to feel free from the burden of perfection.

I have placed my sign on my wall so I can look at it every day. I have also encircled it with all the things I would like to attempt to do this year. Here are a few of the things on my wall:

Go Sandboarding
Go on a Hot Air Balloon Ride
Get Lasik
Start a Business
Get a Concealed Weapon Permit
Voice Lessons and
Zumba