Aaliyah has been licking her lips a lot lately and they have become extremely chapped and look like they hurt. The following is a conversation I had with her when she got done eating breakfast.

Me: "How about we put some chapstick on your lips so they don't hurt. They look like they hurt."

Aaliyah: "Uncle Andy's burned and I cried. I don't want any."

Me: "I promise mine won't hurt it will make you feel better. " As I pull out my Dr Pepper Lipsmackers chapstick. (Yes I still use the chapstick brand I had in elementary school.)

Me: after putting on the chapstick that has a slight pink tint to it, "Woo woo it looks like you are wearing lipstick!"

Aaliyah in a valley girl tone of voice: "Whatever Katie!" As she rolled her eyes and proceeded to turn her back on me.

Let's just say I busted a gut laughing and she couldn't figure out why I thought it was so funny.
I've been violated and really what could I do but sit there and take it like a good sport. For those of you who ever watched Ally McBeal you know exactly what the wattle is.

I would just like to preface that I hate people touching my wattle and I put this violation of my personal space right up there with being groped.

I had to take my grams to the bank to get some paperwork notarized and as I was leaving her place I stood waiting for the elevator with an elderly gentleman. He stared at me for awhile and then said, "You look just like my cousin." and then proceeded to touch my wattle. Talk about freaking a girl out. I just sat there with a really awkward expression on my face and in my head I was trying to decide what I should do. My grandma was with me and she just made small talk like nothing had happened.

Once we entered the elevator he again told me how I looked exactly like his cousin and then he stroked my cheek. AWKWARD. I was so glad I only had to ride one floor with him and since I can walk faster than he can run I booked it out of the elevator as soon as the doors opened.

My grandma made the comment that he talked more to me in the few minutes we were together than he has ever talked to her in the year that she has known him. I guess he was a POW of WWII and doesn't talk much to anyone.

Since I am fascinated with people's stories and histories and I have this weird obsession with WWII I would really like to talk to him but at the same time I don't think I will just because he kind of creeps me out. Nice guy just no sense of personal space.
I’ve been meaning to write for quite some time but I just haven’t had the time, energy or a computer the past month or so.

The last part of August and first part of September have been really hard and stressful for me. I haven’t really wanted to talk about some things but I guess it’s time to start processing. I’m just going to highlight a few things and then if I decide I want to go into details down the road I will.

Several Saturday’s ago I found out that one of the guy’s I used to date committed suicide. To make matters worse he had tried calling me twice right around the time they predicted his death. I didn’t answer the phone because it was a number that was not programmed into my new phone. (I don’t answer unknown phone calls because of drama.) Needless to say I was pretty upset and my family doesn’t really seem to understand, in fact, most people just don’t understand. I’ve just kind of pushed it on the back burner and haven’t wanted to deal with it. It’s been hard this week though because I had to listen to my mom and my sister go on about how stupid suicide is and how selfish he was. I really just don’t want people bringing it up right now. Plus, this weekend is the annual walk to raise funds for suicide prevention and people are asking if I am going because I’ve been directly affected by it recently. Truth be told I don’t want to go, I know I should go, but I’m not sure I am ready to deal with everything.

That same night I found out about Matt’s suicide some guy tried to attack me when I came home from Jordan’s house. Well he might not have been trying to attack me, but I really don’t know since I wouldn’t get out of my car at 2 in the morning. The end result was a high speed chase through my neighborhood and my car needing to get the alignment done. I’m alive and safe so that’s all I’m going to say about that.

My grandma’s case finally made it to trial; it has only been 3 years. My aunt was found not guilty of exploitation of an elderly person even though she flat out told the jury she took my grandma’s money. She was found guilty of opening a credit card under my grandma’s name so maybe she will get sentenced with a felony on that one. The judge won’t even decide until November.

In good news, Jordan got married on September 4th.
This morning the girls and I decided to go for a walk. As we were walking past the area to take us to the school playground Aaliyah informs me that she wants to go over there to play. The problem is that in order to get to the school you have to cross a canal and to do that you have to walk up about 5 cement stairs. My back is still not in the best of shape and trying to haul a double stroller with 2 kids in it up those stairs was not something I wanted to do. Of course, Aaliyah wanted to know why we couldn't go and I informed her I wasn't strong enough to pull the stroller up. Her response, " Probably because you are lonely too." Where the kid comes up with these things I don't know. For some reason she says I am not strong enough because I am lonely. She then proceeds to tell me that her mom is strong enough.

We decide to take a different street than we normally do for our walk and end up on a street with no sidewalk. We've been trying to teach the girls that you don't go in the road and must always stay on the sidewalk. So Aaliyah starts going off on how we need to find a sidewalk. We ended up on a busy street and I was sure there would be a sidewalk there but there wasn't. We turned around and headed back the way we came and Aaliyah started lecturing me for about 5 minutes on how I needed to listen to her and I wasn't being safe. I really wish I could record the stuff she says because her tone makes everything she says so funny.

I finally found some new jokes on the wrappers of Laffy Taffy. I'm not going to mention how many taffies I ate but here are 2 of the better jokes. They made me smile and hopefully they will get a grin out of you as well.

Q: What street does a ghost live on?
A: A Dead End

Q: Where do computers go on a Saturday night?
A: To a Disc-O

Oh how I love cheesy jokes! There are plenty more where those came from but I will spare those of you reading this.
I'm going to be perfectly honest here, I don't like playing Barbies. Every day Aaliyah wants to play Barbies and I just can't do it anymore.

This morning when we were eating breakfast Aaliyah leans over and to tell me a secret. (I honestly thought she was going to burp in my ear.) She whispers in my ear, "Barbies" and then gets a big grin on her face.

I somehow managed to divert her attention though and instead we spent the day collecting snails from the yard. We got her wagon and put at least 20 snails into it and she pulled them around the yard taking them on rides and then watched them try to climb out of the wagon.

After about an hour Aaliyah came in for some juice and as she was walking through the door I heard her telling the snails to be good and that she needed to go inside for a minute but that she would be right back to take them on some more rides. She was about halfway done with her juice when she yelled, "OH NO" and ran for the door. All of her snails were climbing out of the wagon and she started picking them back up and telling them they couldn't do that because they would get hurt. She especially scolded the ones that got around the tires of the wagon because they "would get run over."
I was getting ready to make Aaliyah some lunch and she put her hands over her heart and said, "You make my heart so happy." As you can imagine that just made my day. 
Today we decided it had been awhile since we had a ballet class. As I was struggling with Aaliyah to get her ballet clothes on I said something about her leotard and she commented back in an offended voice, "I'm Aaliyah Paris not Lea Tard."
Aaliyah in response to me telling her every big person wears underwear.
"Jordan wears panties though."
I set my thread on fire. :o(

So this week has been quite interesting. I have had 2 people pop back into my life that I hadn't really expected to hear from again. Sadly, when they realized that I would not drop everything to do their bidding they went off on how I was a bad friend and they can't believe they even contacted me.  At first I was hurt and then I was a little angry. Why is it that I have surrounded myself with people who are never there when I need them but as soon as they want something from me I am the first one they call?

One in particular really pissed me off. I haven't talked to him in over 6 months and any attempt to contact him on my part has been ignored. Around 2 in the morning the other day he texted me saying he was having a bad night and wanted me to come over. I'm sorry but I am not going to someones house at 2 in the morning when I know full well what they are looking for. Needless to say when I told him I wasn't coming over he told me I was a crappy friend and then has not talked to me since.

I realized how much I have changed. Before I would have bent over backwards to try and get back in their good graces but I really don't care anymore. Maybe its the fact that I am planning on moving far far away and I am sure I will lose contact with the majority of my friends. Maybe its because I really don't want to have to take care of anyone else right now, my plate is full. Mostly, I think its because I've come to the realization that these people were never really my friends and I don't have to try to get everyone to like me. I'm tired of being the girl everyone comes running to when their life is falling apart and yet they want nothing to do with me at any other time in their life. And heaven forbid they stick around when my life is falling apart...that is just to much to ask.

As much venting as I have done in this blog I have to say that I really do love my life, I just wish I made enough to support myself LOL. I love watching my nieces and spending time outside. I love that I can have lunch dates with my grandma and that I can actually go to DUP. I am grateful that each month I some how manage to put a roof over my head and food in my belly. I really have been blessed and have so much more than a lot of people.

 

This is something I would totally do. Made me laugh when I read it.
So Lent went well for me this year. I actually made it the full 40 days. It worked so well that I think I am going to give something else up for the next 40 days.

I've been thinking about it and since my life is kind of a mess right now I am going to give up kissing for the next 40 days. I'm hoping that I can become more productive and get a lot of things taken care of that I have been putting off.

Everyone thinks I am nuts for doing this and to be honest I have moments where I think I am nuts too. I was kind of back and forth on whether I really wanted to do this but then tonight I got a fortune that read, "Nothing can keep you from reaching your goals." I took it as a sign. We will see how long I last but it will be interesting to see what happens from all of this.
So last week I had the week from hell and it appears that this week is not going too well either. I thought I was finally getting things back on track and that everything was finally falling into place. Guess again. Sadly, the quote that keeps running through my head these past couple weeks is, "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh."

I went to see Geri today. I was kind of hoping that I was coming to terms and accepting everything that has been going on. Of course I knew better than that and as usual I have just been repressing everything. I hate going to see Geri sometimes. I hate that she tells me things I already know but don't want anyone else to know. I hate that she can see through the fake smile and pretend cheerful attitude. I hate that with one look from her I can burst into tears but mostly...I hate this damn depression.

I'm tired of fighting it. I'm tired of acting like everything is ok when its not. I'm exhausted and not in an I need to sleep for a couple hours kind of exhaustion. I feel like I have been hanging on by a thread for to long and now its starting to fray. I have no idea what is going to happen once it breaks.

I know I know a dark and depressing blog entry. It's been awhile though right. At least I think it has been awhile.
I was talking on the phone today with my grandma and she told me that she wants me to zone her. Talk about getting the shock of my life. While I have mentioned to her many times before that I would gladly work on her she has been very adamant that she is not interested. For the longest time she has thought that I am a witch doctor, which I guess to some extent I can see why she would think that. Anyway, I about fell of the chair when she asked me to zone her once I get back from vacation. We will see if she actually follows through, I think she will.
Tanning Fiasco:

So I am the biggest dork and I honestly don’t know what I do wrong sometimes. That spray tan that they say is basically fool proof indicates that I am a fool. It’s a good thing that the weather has been chilly because I have had to wear long sleeves and pants all week long. I don’t know what I did but I have a huge tan line on my arms and then the undersides of my lower arms are white. The bottom half of my legs did not tan at all except for 2 softball sized blotches one on my calf and one right behind my knee. The upper part of my legs has a nice swirl design to it. My face turned out okay though so that’s a good thing. I have two more tans left and I am not sure if I am brave enough to use them or not. I probably will though because I hate wasting money.

Crawling:

Daija is finally starting to crawl. I have suspected for quite some time that she is a secret crawler since she can get from one side of the room to the other when no one is looking. She is a very funny girl and loves feet. So in order to get her to crawl I wiggle my toes and she tries to come and get them. She will also try to get cell phones so we usually throw one of those down as well. I tried getting a video of her crawling but my cell phone is special and all you can see is a little white blob moving around on the screen.

Watching Daija learn to crawl on the hardwood floor was the best. At first she was getting frustrated but then she realized that if she moved her hands forward she could just slide her legs along the floor. Uncle Andy and Jessica came home right after she had made her new discovery and she tried to crawl after them. She made it to the kitchen but then got distracted by the shoe pile and I had to go grab her before she put the shoes in her mouth. (She loves shoes as much as she loves feet.)

Aaliyah from Hell:

Aaliyah has not wanted to take her naps for the past couple days. She tells me that they are boring and she doesn’t want to do them. On Wednesday she woke up Daija and as a result had to go to time out. Of course she wouldn’t go and kept getting off the chair as I was trying to get Daija to go back to sleep. I ended up having to shut her in her room hoping that she would sleep on her bed. Aaliyah has learned to open her door, something she has not been able to do before because it sticks. Anyway, she opened her door and smugly told me that she had peed on her bed. She comes out of her room and there is pee all over her pants which means she had to have pulled her pull up down in order to do it. By this time I have had it with her and told her that if she didn’t knock it off I was going to spank her. Her response as she turns around and sticks out her butt, “That’s ok you can spank me. Katie I will let you spank me, its ok.” At this point I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry. I really had no intention of spanking the girl so I simply told her to go sit on the chair or I was going to call Jordan. I went into her room and there was no pee on her bed. I guess she must have sat on her pants while she was peeing. I will take what I can get though because I was not looking forward to washing all her bedding.

When Jamie got home I told her about Aaliyah and when I got to the spanking part Aaliyah piped up and told Jamie that I spank her all the time, every day and that’s why she told me it was ok for me to spank her again. What a little punk.

Thursday morning I get to the house and Aaliyah is already awake, hooray. Usually she goes back to sleep around 7 but not that day. Instead she throws a temper tantrum because I won’t let her have pizza for breakfast. I have no idea where the girl got the idea from but she decided to stick her 3 fingers down her through and make herself gag in an attempt to get her way. Who does that???

Closing:
I think that about sums up my week. Oh wait, my mom sold her house and has 2 weeks to get everything moved out. She called me on Friday to inform me that she has sold some of my stuff. Ummm thanks for selling of my stuff mom. I guess it’s not as bad as when my step dad D.I.ed my crystal but still it’s my stuff and I think I should decide whether it stays or goes. I guess I will be moving my stuff to my dad’s until we can hopefully get my grandma’s house.
For my graduation present Camille gave me a gift certificate to some tanning place. Since I burn way to easily I decided to try the spray on tan today. Pretty fast and easy except now I stink. I smell like grapes that are being dehydrated into raisins. For those of you that have used a dehydrator to make your own raisins you know what smell I am talking about. While it reminds me of summers at my grandma's house its not particularly the best smell. I can't shower for 4-6 hours and since I don't want to go out smelling like this I am homebound again. (Yesterday a migraine kept me at home all day.)

I'm already a lot tanner than I was and they gave me the lightest spray they have. It's not to hard to get darker than I was though because I was as white as they come. ;o)

I watched She's The Man today. I forgot just how funny that show was. Of course I can't watch it without thinking of my former co-worker Shane. I used to always tease him and give him things telling him, "I made you breakfast darling." as I handed it to him. I guess it isn't funny to anyone else but I always get a kick out of it.
So I fixed my TV all by myself. It took me all of 10 seconds to do it and I have not had any problems since. Go me!

My apartment is still making me sick which is sad.

I joined DUP yesterday.

Daija has decided that she likes to give "fish" kisses. I don't know what her deal is but the last week she has been sucking on anyone's face who will get close to her. She is so funny. Her hair is finally long enough to do something with it. I gave her a nice little fountain ponytail and also a curlhawk. They were so cute.

I took the girls to the library for the first time. Aaliyah was so excited and grabbed the first 2 books she saw on the shelf to read. I was a little worried that Daija was going to be really loud since she had been that way all morning. She actually behaved herself which was a shock. Sadly after about an hour my back started killing me and I thought it was going to go out while at the library. I told Aaliyah we needed to go because my back hurt and her comment to me was. "Really bad?" I answered yes but that she could finish reading her book but instead she just closed it and said we could go. I thought I was going to have to fight her to leave but she was a good sport and for that I am very grateful.

I think that pretty much sums up my week. I need to start taking more pictures of the girls so everyone can see how stinking cute they are.
Can I just tell everyone how much I love the internet. When my car got spray painted I found out how to remove it myself (WD40), when my step-dad got permanent marker on my mom's beloved wood table I found a way to remove that (toothpaste) and now today I found out how to fix my TV. I've had the TV for about 2 years and of course I started having major issues with it as soon as the warranty had expired. The TV likes to shut off on its own and at random times. Can I just tell you how frustrating it is to try and watch a movie when the stupid thing turns off at least 3 times during the movie. Anyway, instead of paying tons of money to have a service technician come out I found that I can probably fix it for free and its something really simple. I really hope it works. Wish me luck!!!
Britt came to hang out for a couple of hours until time for her work meeting. We didn't have anything to do so we decided to take back some Blockbuster movies and get some new ones. We were briefly detained at the house and its a good thing because as we walked into Blockbuster we found out that they had just barley been robbed. The guy had just left the parking lot and the store clerk was phoning the robbery in to the police. Had we not been detained we would have been in the store during the robbery. The clerk kept apologizing to us for being so upset but we reassured her that she was handling it very well and we would have been just as upset, if not more, had we been in her shoes.

Sadly, I must be hormonal because I was about to start crying just listening to her on the phone with the police. Well it doesn't help either that I usually cry whenever I see someone else crying.

I went upstairs to get my slippers out of my brother's spare room only to find that they cleaned it out and D.I.ed my all time favorite pair of slippers. I am so sad and my toes are little icicles

The End.

So much has been going on that I don't even know where to begin writing. I guess I will just write about today and everything else just gets skipped over.

I got out of the shower today and much to my surprise Camille was up. Turns out she was pretty sick...dizzy and nauseous. I ended up taking her to Jordan's with me just in case she passed out. Better to have people around in case she needed help and all. She did not look good and when we got to Jordan's the vomiting began. Good thing the girls were still sleeping since Camille was sitting right next to a sleeping Aaliyah when it all began.

The girls got up and as we were getting breakfast ready I had Wonder Pets on to entertain them. I can't remember what happened but something funny happened and I laughed. Aaliyah didn't get it and wanted to know why I laughed. I explained to her that it was something I saw on the TV and she turned back to the show to see if she could figure it out. She then turned around and said, "Poop isn't funny, huh Katie." I tried so hard to keep a straight face when I responded to her but I had to turn my head so she wouldn't see me laughing. That girl pulls out the most random things.

We ended up taking Camille to the instacare because she was so sick. I was getting Daija ready first and suddenly Aaliyah came into the room with her clothes all on. She had been able to get herself dressed and had some Barbies in her hand to entertain herself with while we were gone. Usually I have to fight Aaliyah to get dressed and it takes forever. I am so thankful that she realized the urgency of the situation and took the initiative to dress herself. While at Instacare she sat in her chair and looked at some magazines and then played with her Barbies. I did have to tell her once to be quiet because she started belting out Once Upon a Dream at the top of her lungs while her Barbies were dancing.

Aaliyah finally went poop in the potty. I was so excited. We have been trying to get her to do that since I started watching the girls. I was so excited. We called her mom and we called Brittney. She even got to go to McDonald's and get a kids meal. Yes I do resort to bribery when trying to get her to do something new.

Daija is finally starting to eat her rice cereal. She has become quite independent though and only 7 months. She wants to hold the spoon and put it into her mouth by herself. She is actually pretty good and will even suck all of the cereal off of the spoon.

That pretty much sums up the day. Camille and I came home and had a Freaks and Geeks marathon. I still didn't want to leave her home alone even though she was feeling better. We were supposed to go to the LDS Film Festival but I didn't want her passing out while we were down there. I also had 4 guys ask me out...which I turned down because I am mean like that. Why is it when you decide to give up dating they start coming out of the woodwork?