Ramblings

So last week I had the week from hell and it appears that this week is not going too well either. I thought I was finally getting things back on track and that everything was finally falling into place. Guess again. Sadly, the quote that keeps running through my head these past couple weeks is, "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh."

I went to see Geri today. I was kind of hoping that I was coming to terms and accepting everything that has been going on. Of course I knew better than that and as usual I have just been repressing everything. I hate going to see Geri sometimes. I hate that she tells me things I already know but don't want anyone else to know. I hate that she can see through the fake smile and pretend cheerful attitude. I hate that with one look from her I can burst into tears but mostly...I hate this damn depression.

I'm tired of fighting it. I'm tired of acting like everything is ok when its not. I'm exhausted and not in an I need to sleep for a couple hours kind of exhaustion. I feel like I have been hanging on by a thread for to long and now its starting to fray. I have no idea what is going to happen once it breaks.

I know I know a dark and depressing blog entry. It's been awhile though right. At least I think it has been awhile.